Oh my dear Lord. Lay your merciful hands upon me and save me from the pickle I have created for myself. Oooh...dill pickles...is it lunch yet?
Anyways, tomorrow is a big day.
Matthew (my darling boyfriend) and his parents are coming to MY crazy family's Christmas Eve celebration.
In years past this night has notoriously been quite a "to-do" for my family. This is usually my favorite evening of the year, as I find my family quite fun and entertaining. However, I fear that outsiders might view us as "absolutely fucking nuts" (Excuse my French...I picked it up while eating at a French restaurant last week.)
I have such lovely memories from Christmas Eves past. Drunken aunt Debbie passed out on the couch after one too many pomegranate martinis...My glorious Grandma Betty dirtying everything that she sat on because of the jello shot with cool whip she miraculously got on her rear end...hours and hours of watching family member after family member make fools of themselves trying to keep up with the rhythms of Dance Dance Revolution...the list goes on and on...and on.....and on....
But tomorrow I am expecting a completely different dynamic. What dynamic? I have no flipping clue! And that "no flipping clue" is what scares me. What if they truly despise one another!?! What if they get into an argument about global warming, which fast food chain has the best french fries, who was a better Joseph...Donny Osmond or that guy from The Young and the Restless?!? The possibilities are ENDLESS!
::NOTE TO SELF: tell little sister Jessica to NOT tell the story about the time that I peed in a trashcan...that would be bad::
I am expecting a total "Meet the Fockers" reenactment for some reason. I am not sure which parents will turn out to be the Fockers...but that doesn't matter. I just want them to love each other and be the best of friends...
Breathe Sarah...Deeeeep Breaths. In through your nose...2 seconds...ok, good, now breath out through your nose for 4 seconds...Beautiful...Do you feel better now?
We will see how this evening goes. I think that I am just going to get completely trashed off of eggnog, so in case it does go TERRIBLY I will at least have the pleasure of not remembering one moment of it...
And what fun is Christmas morning without a hangover??