Friday, April 30, 2010

Things that I have learned in the last week or so....

1.  Nurses really like Taylor Swift.
So I went to the doctor TWICE in the past 2 weeks. Both of them wanted to take blood. I hate having my blood taken. More than I hate asparagus. Which is a lot. I really HATE asparagus. Anyways...while I was getting ready for my pending death (because that is what happens when you get your blood die) the nurse walked in pushing her tray of fear. She grabbed my chart and exclaimed, "OH MY GOSH! I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT!! ARE YOU RELATED TO HER...SHE IS SOOOO CUTE! OH MY GOSH! HOW COOL WOULD IT BE IF YOU WERE RELATED TO HER! YOU COULD GO TO ALL HER CONSERTS!!" it turns out I am not related to Taylor Swift. And by the time that she was done with her complete freak out at the amazing coincidence that a teeny bopper country singer and I have the same last blood was drawn. And I was not passed out Stone Cold Steve Austen style. No. I was ALIVE!!!!
So. A week later I found myself in the same position, different doctors office. Asking God's forgiveness for all my wrongs, because this time I was going to die. The needle would penetrate my skin...the fear, pain, horror, would be too much and my soul would evaporate into the clouds when there was a tap at the door, and then an,"OH MA GHAAAW...YOU LASS NAME IS SAME LIKE TAYROR SWIFF!" (she was a little Chinese Lady) By the time she was done telling me how in her country everyone would love to be just like Tay-ror- Swiff, she had done her dirty work and left me in that stark room truly amazed. Could this be happening? Did I just get over my terrible fear of blood being taken? Why am I not passed out on the floor...or crying for my mother? 
Anyways. I don't know what it is. But I do know that nurses like Taylor Swift. I am going to go in for a colonoscopy (oh joy! aren't you so jealous?)  in a couple of weeks. I am going to see if that nurse likes Taylor Swift too....

2. Seeing musicals is much more fun with gay men.
My darling friend Aaron got tickets to see Chicago this past Wednesday and rightly assumed that I would want to go along. We had an amazing dinner right across the street at Delphine where I ate escargot for the first time, and I must say...I do love them. These were not your garden variety snails...I could eat snails every day! Anyways...thanks to Pretty Woman, I knew exactly how to not fling that slimy thing across the room. Amen. 
Anyways. Chicago was amazing, per usual. But my friends were amazing. I usually  go to shows with people who just sit and stare...but they were so exciting! Singing and dancing along (not annoyingly, I promise.)  
Here is a photo of us:

3. Baby showers are really easy to shop for.
I am going to Lexi's baby shower this weekend, and I was truly amazed at how easy it was to shop for. Well not really. It was really easy, and really fun, and I was tempted to buy things for my future posterity. But I didn't. Because my boyfriend would probably think that it was really creepy. I probably shouldn't tell him about those baby shoes that I have had in my possession for about...lets say...five years.

4. Boyfriends do not like to build furniture from IKEA.
How do I know this? Because I have an IKEA bookshelf that has been in its box for days upon days lying in the middle of my floor. It is really throwing off my feng shui. He has been telling me that he would do it for me, but he is usually, "too tired." And when I tell him that I am just going to give up and try to figure it out all by myself, he pleads with me to just wait and let him do it. I once put together a really fancy barbecue all by myself. I think that I can handle a bookshelf. Ok buddy?   

Would you like a little knowledge??
My darling friend Janelle and I thought that it would be a cute idea to start a book club. Seeing as we live nowhere near one another, we were thinking we could form it in the blogosphere. Would you like to join??
Check back on Monday and I will have the first book selection!



  1. I think boyfriends do not like building anything.. and look what happens when they do... they put together the darn crib backwards....This is why Men do not have babies. Lord knows how they would come out!!
    PS I am so excited about Oprah Wishes

  2. I like the name of your book club blog...very creative and what a great idea!! You look really cute in the pic also. Glad you handled those doctors visits all by yourself - looking forward to our doctor date (well not really for you but I get to hang out in the waiting room - hopefully they have some good magazines).